Real Talk, Wellbeing

My Body Journey And Where I Am Right Now

December 29, 2017

My Body Journey

“I’ve been underweight, I’ve been chubby, I’ve been skinny fat, I’ve been super lean, I’ve been at the peak of my physical fitness and then lost it all again. All along this journey, I’ve hated my body, loathed it, accepted it, then loved it, then hated it again, wanted it to be skinnier, then stronger, fitter, more flexible, and the list goes on…

Reflecting back on the last couple of years, I realize that there were so many stages that I went through in finding peace with my body. Because I’ve been journalling for six years now, I have all this personal material to read through and piece the puzzle together in retrospect. My diaries tell a story about how obsessed I used to be with trying to lose weight and controlling my food intake – I used to write down every single meal and snack for years – and how I equated weight loss to beauty and self-worth. They tell a story of realizing I didn’t want to keep living life in such a mundane and sad way. They tell a story of struggle, falling down, wanting to give up, pulling myself back up, trying again and all along never giving up hope. As the pages progress and become filled with an increased sense of self-awareness, subtle changes begin to happen in my behavior and thought patterns. At the time I remember thinking that I wasn’t progressing, but I can now see that I had to go through those subconscious, intangible changes first in order for them to come to sustainable fruition. It’s also been interesting looking through previous Insta posts of mine  (here, here, here, here, here, here) and reflect back to what I was expressing at the time.

Overall, my self-love to self-loath ratio has changed significantly over the years.

But don’t get me wrong.

Some days my self-doubt and anxiety is still triggered. I might see a girl in the same dress I’m wearing and think “I don’t look as good as her.”, I might see a picture of myself and catch myself going to town on how I look, I might get dressed in the morning and a pair of jeans seems tighter than usual or I might scroll through Instagram and let the picture-perfect images screw with my mind. I call it my BDD flare up, BDD standing for Body Dysmorphic Disorder. The sudden escalation of frustration, the mood swings, the inability to rationalize my emotions and putting things into perspective, the ruthless overtake of my inner mean girl. Those. Things. Do. Still. Happen. And I’m not ashamed of it or try hiding them from you guys. But eventually, and this is in sharp contrast to the past, I get my head out of my ass and realize what a tantrum I’m causing. How I know better than this. That this isn’t me anymore. And so I file the moment away in my drawer of ED mishaps, give myself a little self-love from my SOS Self Love Tool Kit and move on. Done deal. Next chapter.

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3 Next Level Recovery Techniques You Should Try – Cryotheraphy, Float Tanks and NormaTec

December 8, 2017

Koa Recovery

As you all know, I’m BIG on trying out new fitness, recovery and wellness modalities, so I was super excited when Shaun from Koa Recovery first reached out to me. That was almost a year ago, and since then I’ve become a strong proponent of the amazing services they offer. So I wanted to share those experiences with you and tell you why these recovery modules are so amazing, how they work and how you benefit from them as well. There’s a special Christmas offer for any Sydney locals at the bottom, so keep reading if you’re keen to try for yourself.

In short: Koa Recovery in Waterloo, Sydney, offers state-of-the-art recovery services for athletes, weekend warriors, people with injuries or anyone looking to help their body’s recovery after strenuous exercise

Some of these offers might sound super foreign to you, but don’t worry I’ll explain in a second what they are:

  • Whole Body Cryotherapy
  • Float Tank, also called sensory deprivation tanks
  • Normatec Compression Boots
  • Remedial & Sports Massage
  • Compex Elecrtrical Muscle Stimulation Therapy

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Food, Nutrition

Detox Time: Lucky You Cleanse supplying the goods

December 1, 2017

Let’s draw a scenario here quickly: you generally eat very healthy, exercise regularly and pride yourself on being nutritionally savvy. You’ve normally got your diet down to a T, but lately you’ve been feeling a bit sluggish. You’ve been indulging a bit more than usual, had more coffee than usual, and the weekend extravaganzas with wine and chips is taking it’s toll as well.

In comes: a juice cleanse.

A juice cleanse is the perfect way to hit refresh on your out-of-control eating habits and get you back into the game. But it doesn’t stop there…I personally love doing cleanses whenever I want to recalibrate my taste buds (read: when I’ve been eating too many sweets and need to STOP), have a busy week ahead and don’t want to meal prep or want to prep myself for summer/holidays etc.

I used to do juice cleanses regularly when I lived in Switzerland (as I worked for a juice cleanse company), but ever since I moved to Australia, I haven’t really gotten around to it or felt the need for it. But before going on holidays recently, I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to cleanse my system. I chose the GREEN 3-day program from Lucky You Cleanse, and I’ll explain why in a second.

If you want to learn more about the benefits of juice cleanses, what to look for in a cleanse and hot tips on how to get the best out of it, check out this blog post “Do we really need to detox”?  for all the details. Here, I’ll just keep it short and sweet.

Why cleanse?

Because your body will love you for it. Every time I cleanse, I am astonished over and over again by how amazing I feel afterward. Day 1 and 2 can be a bit rough but by day 3 you will feel re-energized, less bloated and light. Of course, if you are not used to eating clean and healthy, you might struggle a bit more and get some side effects (hello coffee withdrawals), but after day 2 those should be gone as well.

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6W2S is the first fitness boot camp I ever did. Here’s my verdict.

October 30, 2017

6W2S Fitness Bootcamp

As you guys may have seen on my Instagram over the last couple of weeks, I’ve been doing a 6-week boot camp challenge. In fact, I’m already done with the first round and have decided to go for round 2 because I loved it so much. So I thought it might be time to talk a little bit about what exactly I’m doing, why I’m doing it, why it’s so great and what I’ve learned in the process.

But let’s back-peddle a bit. When I came back from India (read about my yoga teacher training experience here and here), I initially thought I was going to keep going with just yoga. I was loving the new-found flexibility and mindset from my training and was completely encapsulated by the yogi world.

But I ended up fracturing my toe on the last day of YTT and when I came back to Sydney, I couldn’t do much yoga – no down dogs, no balancing poses, no warriors. Zip, nada. After a week of sulking and feeling miserable about myself, I decided to do some upper body weight sessions and general strength exercises, just to move my body and do something.

When Blake from 6W2S asked if I wanted to join their next 6-weeks intake, I initially thought “Ohhh I’m going to lose all my flexibility” and “I should be doing just yoga to keep the momentum going”, and so I was a bit hesitant. I’ve also been careful in recent years when it came to committing to any kind of x-week-long program, whether it be food or fitness-related, just because I’m aware that those things used to be quite triggering for me. The last programs I followed were BBG (which I did by myself in the gym) and then I Quit Sugar. So you could say I’m a bit of a boot camp newbie, especially when it comes to doing something in a group atmosphere.

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14 Life Lessons I Learnt At YTT | Part 2

October 21, 2017

Ever since coming back from India, I feel like I’ve stepped into a freedom I can’t explain, can’t quite put into words.

In Part 1 of this post, I’ve talked about some of the great things that YTT has taught me – celebrating the small victories, practicing gratitude daily, how expectations ruin everything and how we should just still more often.

Today I’m sharing some more, and some very deep, experiences that have helped shape and shift my mindset ever since I returned.

Side note: from the moment I returned from India, I was stressing to writing these two blog posts as quickly as possible for you guys. But in the end, I’m really happy that it’s taken me so long to get these out, because a lot of these things didn’t actually ‘click’ for me until recently. Well, they ‘clicked’, but they didn’t manifest into my life to the point that it actually changed the way I lived and did things on a daily basis. Which I feel like they now do. It’s sublte changes in life perspective that have slowly crepped up on me, and now, as I sit down to contemplate on things, I realize how they have found themself into my life.

I could probably write a part 3 and 4 to this, but for now this shall suffice. Without further ado…

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I’ve trialled the Eat Fit Food 3-day vegan reset plan…This Is What I Thought

October 9, 2017

Eat Fit Food 3-day vegan reset

Once September hits, it seems like time flies by and before you know it, it’s already Christmas. Am I the only one that feels like the last couple of weeks have just gone by in no time? It’s all a bit of a blurr to be honest. Fair enough, I’ve had my hands full with my full-time job, coaching, teaching rooftop yoga at The Old Clare (tickets for next week via Eventbrite), daily workouts, events and collaboration, but seriously, TIME IS FLYING. It’s kinda scary.

With a tight schedule and my 6W2S boot camp in full swing, meal prepping has been super important for me lately. Most days, I go straight from my workout to work and have breakfast in the bus/train, so I need to have my breakfast + lunch and snack all ready for the day by the night before. As much as I enjoy my Saturday morning farmers market visit and meal prep on Sundays, sometimes it’s just nice to not have to do any of that. Cause who are we kiddin’, meal prep can be a pain in the bum sometimes!

And that’s where Eat Fit Food has once again been a life safer for me. I’ve  trialed their 5-day program last October (full review here), and I’ve already spoken really highly of them then. Since then, I have tested a couple of other meal delivery services in Sydney, but to be completely frank, none of them have matched my experience with EFF. And I’m not saying this because I got to test their newly launched 3-day vegan reset plan for free, I really do mean it.

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Lifestyle, Real Talk, Travel

14 Life Lessons I Learnt at YTT | Part 1

September 17, 2017

YTT India

6 weeks have passed since I did my Yoga Teacher Training in Rishikesh, India. Certified yogi: tick

The one question I get after “How was it?” is this:

“Did it transform your life like everyone said it would?”

In other words, they want to know if I’ve come back a zen AF yogi that has found enlightenment at the end of the tunnel.

Going into the training, I knew I would learn heaps of cool stuff and valuable life lessons. I mean I was about to spend 10 weeks in yoga land… how could that not do me good? I didn’t place any crazy expectations on the experience (actually, I went without any expectations but more on that later), but I admit there was a part of me hoping that this would bring me closer to…to what I’m not 100% sure. Maybe I felt like there was still some inner demons inside me (old destructive ED/binge thought patterns) and so I guess I was hoping that YTT would shine light on whatever part of this big life equation I hadn’t quite figured out.

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Real Talk

A Letter To My Younger Self

September 1, 2017

Letter to younger self

If you could go back and talk to your younger self, what would you tell her?

This is what I would say to my younger “eating disorder self”…

Letter to my younger self

Dear Me,

You probably don’t recognize me now. You won’t recognize me for the happy, healthy person that you see before you. I know that you are not in a good place right now, but I just want to let you know that you will get through this. In fact, you won’t only get through this but you will come out of the other side as a better and stronger person.

It won’t be easy. You are going to want to give up. You will believe that you are the only person in the world dealing with these inner deamons. The ED will hijack your mind. When you look in the mirror, you will only see what the ED wants you to see.

A part of you will want to leave the ED behind, but you will also be afraid of what life would be without it. You won’t want to let go. If you try, your struggle with food might even seem to get worse at first. It’s normal – you are upsetting your inner mean girl, so she will roar up and try to take back control. Now, here’s the hard truth – this voice will never go away fully. But you will learn to disengage from the voice. You will learn that freedom is hearing the voice nag and complain and roar and lecture and diss you, but you won’t believe a word it’s saying anymore.

One of your biggest hurdles and turning points will be to give up the “diet mentality” and practice radical self-love instead. It sounds impossible now, but with daily practice, step-by-step, you will learn to love yourself. Trust me. At times it may feel like you are taking steps back, but trust me when I say this is all part of the process.

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Food, Lifestyle, Travel

Morning Walks and Brunch Locations With A View + How to Eat Out Healthily

August 31, 2017

Brunch at Watsons Bay Boutique Hotel

On the list of things I missed the most while I was in India, Sydney’s brunch is definitely in the top 10. Having spicy rice for breakfast is alright and all, but boy did I miss my morning cappuccino, smashed avo and sourdough bread. Aussies just know how to brunch, am I right? The cool thing in Sydney is that their brunch scene doesn’t equate to big boozy escapades with all-you-eat-buffets (reminds me of Dubai times, #foodcoma).

It’s quite the contrary actually – my favoite way to brunch here is to wake up early for a morning workout to up my appetite and then head straight from the studio to my favorite brunch spot. I admit it. I am one of those people who are brunching in their active wear. Thank the lord for barre to brunch athleisure wear. So if you see me out, I may or may not have come from yoga, but I can guarantee you I’ve at least walked to the cafe – so that’s something.

And Sydney has lots of beautiful walks to offer. Since I moved to Bondi in April, my favorite walk is the Bondi to Coogee coastal walk, duh. But I haven’t found that many great brekky spots in that direction yet…If you have any good recommendations, please do share.The other direction, however, has some great post-walk brunch spots to offer.

My favorite so far is the Watson’s Bay Boutique Hotel, mainly for it’s yummy menu, beach luxe vibes, beautiful scenery and of course the mandatory Bondi to Watsons Bay coastal walk to get there. Of course you could drive or get there via ferry which is scenic in its own right, but in my opinion, nothing beats working up a good appetite before cozying up with a waterfront view at their Beach club to enjoy a healthy brunch with friends. It’s just so much more satisfying when you’ve worked for it.

Last time I went, I enjoyed their massive Breakfast bowl – a mix of hummus, heirloom tomato, dukkah egg, quinoa, raw carrot, sprouts and kale. Yum! They have some awesome healthy sides as well, like Portobello mushrooms, smashed avo and sautéed kale, so I found it quite easy to choose a healthy option.

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Fitness, Travel

What It’s Like To Do Your Yoga Teacher Training In India

August 14, 2017

Yoga Teacher Training In India

I leave India with a 200h yoga certificate, new found friends and a heart bursting full of joy, appreciation, and gratitude for this experience, for myself, my body, mother nature and this beautiful earth we live in. Doing my Yoa Teacher Training in India was everything I hoped for and more.

It was…

It was like one big summer camp for adults.

It was practicing yoga 3-4 hours a day, 6 days a week.

It was morning neti pots and herbal teas.

It was learning how to breathe and meditate and sit still for an hour.

It was being a sweaty, dirty mess for a month, but not caring how I look.

It was getting weird rashes and allergies all over my body and not knowing what’s going on.

It was dancing like no one’s watching and singing my lungs out to Indian Bollywood songs and mantras.

It was being surrounded by incredibly inspiring and uplifting people, and both laughing and crying together.

It was getting to know the Indian culture and falling in love with their generosity.

And falling in love with myself again.

It was feeling deflated on days where the yoga flow just didn’t seem to happen, and feeling elated when a challenging pose finally seemed in reach.

It was lying in bed at night wondering what my purpose in life is.

It was allowing myself to be more vulnerable than ever before.

It was realizing that everything is OK.

It was realizing that things are coming full circle for me and that I truly feel at peace with myself.

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