Hi from the itty bitty titty committee. 🙋🏼♀️
I feel like the conversation of small breasts often gets overlooked in the body positivity space. It’s all about embracing your weight, your curves, but what if you’ve got no curves and especially no breasts?!
Why don't people ever talk about small breast and the shaming of flat-chested women? For years, I struggled with this. I felt less of a woman because of my small breasts. Unfeminine. Unsexy. Boyish. Not like a proper adult. Especially when the body positivity movement proclaimed “Real women have curves!”, I felt unseen, unheard and like I didn’t know what to do with my small boobs insecurities.
I remember being aware of my lack of breasts in school, when all my classmates were entering puberty and their bodies were changing, mine was still the body of a little girl.
Cue the jokes, the mockery, the shameful attempts to stuff bras with toilet paper and the painful visits to the bikini section in department stores. I dreamt about having surgery many times, more than I can count and more than I feel comfortable to admit.
Even after working through my desire to be ultra thin, this constant thought still nagged me. I’m not really sure when and where it switched, maybe it’s the type of ease and insight that can only come from age, but I have learnt to accept my flat-chestedness over the years.
Perhaps it’s because of the conversations I’ve had with big-chested women who made me realise the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Perhaps it’s because I’ve learnt to embrace the upsides of small boobs (comfortably sleeping on your stomach, hello!). And perhaps it’s because it’s yet another societal beauty standard that I’ve learnt to let go of, or at least care a little bit less about. Your body is your body and I respect the decision of changing your body, but personally what’s also helped is seeing the work of people like @lonijane and @cassey.maynard who are doing really important work in this space by sharing their #explantjourney and highlighting the potential health risks associated with getting a boob job. Also, I have to give credit to being in a healthy relationship with a man who doesn’t make me feel less than for my lack in this department.
For some concrete, actionable tips on how to start accepting what’s been bestowed on you:
Stop trying to fill bra designs that simply don’t suit your body type and start embracing designs that do. Hello lacy bralette trend! Go out there and buy yourself some nice lingerie and bikinis that work with what you’ve got, rather than against it.
Whilst were at it - when you’re out shopping and catch yourself thinking “This dress would look better if I filled it out” or “This top would work with more cleavage”, stop right then and there. Notice your thoughts and straight away overwrite them with something that you’re grateful for that your body does for you.
Remind yourself that for every girl with small boobs wishing she had a larger chest, there is a girl with large breasts wishing for a smaller chest. Focus on loving yourself as you naturally are.
Make a list of all the things that make you feel sexy and feminine, and then make it your mission to do more of that. Be it wearing flowy dresses, dancing around the living room naked, giving yourself a dry body brush scrub whilst listening to sensual music, do that and embrace the feminine energy.
When someone gives you a compliment about your small breasts, embrace it. Say ‘thank you’ take it in and really allow yourself to feel the energy. Don't deny or downplay it!
